People are asking me a lot of questions about my Christmas Campaign. Here are some answers. If you have something new, you can ask me a question here on my site or on my Facebook.
What is your address?
Scoops Ricardo Wilson
P.O. Box 104
Mammoth, PA 15664
I enjoy going to my Post Office. To help Annette. That is my Postmaster lady. She is very nice and gives me treats. Oh and also. I like to smell the mail. Our other Postmaster used to put me on the scale at the Post Office. That was not as fun. Then she would give me treats. To apologize. Although she did give great backrubs. And had great boobs. Her name was Sue. She retired. I am rambling.
What is this Christmas Campaign of yours all about?
I have developed a way for us to help animals that need our help and who do not know Santa. This is too clever. Almost for me. My Christmas Campaign is fun. A LOT of fun. For everyone who wants to play with me. And for the Santaless animals. Who need our help.
This year is my 4rd Christmas Campaign. It is annual. Because Christmas is annual. My 1rd Christmas Campaign was 2009. It was a huge success. My 2st Christmas Campaign was 2010. It was a huger success. My 3st Christmas Campaign was 2011. It was a Hugeamungus success. This year, people. We have to make my Christmas Campaign 2012 be Epic Proportions.
Distinguished Dobermans Rescue, Inc. will receive 100% of the money. That I raise throughout December. For my Christmas Campaign 2012. Learn more about DDR. And like them on Facebook. They are Fantabulous people.
My Christmas Campaign 2012 officially begins on December 1rd and will end at 12:00 AyEm on December 26st.
So, how does it work? And what are the rules?
It is very easy, lady. So easy in fact, even my brother, Ren, could follow. Or maybe not. But not because it is difficult. But because he is very slow. I digress. Here is how it works:
Letter 1 – BE MY FRIEND ON FACEBOOK. THEN SEND ME MORE NEW FRIENDS.
When I get over 500 new Facebook Friends, it will earn $250.00. For DDR. From Bag of Bones Barkery.
The Toppest 3 people who send me the most new FB Friends will win Prizes. Because I like Contests.
I love my FB Friends. We have good times. My Christmas Campaigns would not be SuckSessFul. Without them. Oh and also. I have famous FB Friends too. But I do not treat them famous. Because that makes them Anxiety. And then mayhaps they will get Hives. That would ruin Christmas, lady.
Letter 1.5 – LIKE BAG OF BONES BARKERY ON FACEBOOK.
Bag of Bones Barkery will give us $250.00. For DDR. For 500+ new FB Likes they get. On their FB.
>>>> IMPORTANT:Tell Bag of Bones Barkery that I sent you. And thank them for supporting Distinguished Dobermans Rescue this year. Do not forget this, people. It is how they will make a list. Of new LIKES. For My Christmas Campaign.
Number B – SEND ME A CHRISTMAS CARD. IN MY MAIL.
My Dad will give us $50.00. For DDR. For every 100 Christmas Cards I get. In my Mail.
The Toppest 3 people who send me the most Creative Christmas Card will win Prizes. Because I like Contests.
I like Christmas Cards. A lot. I hang them on the wall. Behind my Heater. Last year, people. I had so many Cards. I had to split them. Into 2 walls. It was that serious. (See Evidence Letter 1). And then when Christmas is over. I donate all of my Card Fronts. To old people. For arts. And crafts. Old people love me.
IMPORTANT:You can even include your own Money Donation. In my Christmas Card. If you want to. But this is not a requirement. If you send a check, be sure to write it out to Distinguished Dobermans Rescue. Not to me. Because I do not have a Bank Account. I will deliver your check to Distinguished Dobermans Rescue. Along with my Dad’s. It will be fun.
Letter 3 – SEND ME CHRISTMAS PRESSIES. IN MY MAIL.
My Dad will give us $5.00. For DDR. For every Package I get. In my Mail.
The Toppest 3 people who send me the most Christmas Pressies will win Prizes. Because I like Contests.
I like Christmas Pressies. A lot. I open my own Pressies. And keep them by my Heater. With me. Oh and also. I always have photo shoots. Of all the pressies I get. And I even have video shoots. Of the bestest ones. That I like the bestest. This means that your Christmas Pressie to me will be famous. On my Facebook. This is fantabulous. See below for things I like the mostest. If you want to impress me. Oh and also again. I donate a lot of my Pressies. To my local animal shelters. Because they do not have Chimneys. And do not know Santa. It is a travesty. Of epic proportions.
You can also send me Packages of donations. For DDR. Here is their Wish List.
Oh and also. If you send me Dolly Parton. In a Christmas Pressie. I will clean your EyeBrows. Because I Excel at EyeBrow Cleaning.
Number D – SEND ME MONEY DONATIONS. FOR DDR.
People, Money Donations are important. For the Homeless dogs. At DDR. Because they do not get an Allowance. Because they are Homeless. And do not have Parents. Yet. But that is what DDR is for. Because DDR takes care of them. And loves them. A LOT. Until they get Parents. I only hope one thing. That they do not get a Mom. Like mine. I would Donate my Mom. To DDR. So that they could sell my Mom. For Cash. But my Mom is a LieAbility. So that is a Negative, lady.
The Toppest 3 people who send me the most Donation Money will win Prizes. Because I like Contests.
Do not forget, people. If you send a Check. To me. For DDR. To write it out to Distinguished Dobermans Rescue. Because I am sans Bank Account.
What kind of Christmas Pressies do you like?
I am not Picky. Just a little bit. But the Pressies are not about me. I like Pressies. A whole lot. And I will love any Pressies that my Friends send me. But I am not going to be Picky about these specific Pressies. Because they are Special. So I will not be upset. If you send me a Pressie that I would normally be picky about. I will donate it. To the Homeless animals. Who are sans Pressies. And Friends.
But because so many people have asked, here is a list of my favorite things:
- Dingo bones
- Tweaters and Shirts (size Small)
- Coats. Because my body freezes. In the Arctic Temperatures. That live outside of my House.
- Fleece Blankies
- Friends that talk to me when we play
- Friends that are not Hairy. Because I pull out their Hair. And then get yelled at.
- Friends that do not have hard plastic EyeBalls. That I can choke and die from. Because I de-EyeBall my Friends.
- Pet-Tabs (those are my Vitamins)
- Green bean mush (but you cannot send that in the mail and no one makes it like my Mom)
- Any kinds of bones or treats
- * I AM ALLERGIC TO CHICKEN. This is a red alert situation, people. Very, very urgent. My hives will ruin Christmas.
I will be having photo shoots of me with my presents. On my Facebook. And will have video shoots. Of presents that are the bestest in the whole world. So your present to me will be famous. I love photo shoots. I will tell you something, lady. I do believe I was a Model. In a past life.
Scoops, you are so very smart and intelligent. You have magically found a way to make giving to charity fun and funny at the same time. I love your Christmas Campaign. How can I help?
People, this is very, very easy and VERY, VERY important. Without your help, my Christmas Campaign will not be a SuckSess. Your help is urgent. It will help Santa come to your house much quicker. He will be so excited to come to your house. He will be Sharting in his sleigh on the way there. Trust me. I know these things. Me and Santa have a psychic connection. I do believe I was Rudolph in a past life. Anyway, I digress. I clearly have a digressing problem. Forgive me.
Tell everyone about my Christmas Campaign on your Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, LinkedIn and any other place you can think of. Tell your friends and family too. Especially your Mom. Moms like to help. Oh and also. Moms make the best treats. Don’t forget to send everyone to my Facebook or to my website here.
Send me a Christmas card in the mail. And get your friends who like me and think I’m fun to send me a Christmas card too.
Send me a present in the mail. It can be any good present for a guy like me. That means no Mom letter 2. I already have my Mom. Letter 1. And she ruins my life. That is not fun. Nor good.
Send me a Money Donation for DDR. DDR is counting on us, people. To make the Santaless Homeless dogs happy. For Christmas. I cannot stress this URGENTNESS enough.